The Bensons v. Plano PD

You can file this story away in the "That Bi*ch is Pissed" folder.

OK, it's not as bad as it sounds. Really! But here's the lowdown. In mid-December, I received a letter in the mail stating that I owed $100 for running a red light. Boo.

So I looked for the when and where.

April 2011. No, that's not a typo. The City of Plano was sending me a notification for a red light ticket from more than 2.5 years ago. This was the first we were hearing of it. There was no picture included to prove I did it and no intersection - nothing - just a letter saying you need to pay this or we're putting a registration hold so you can't renew your vehicle registration. Bitches.

So over Christmas break, I had the hubby call. They essentially said that they sent the ticket and a follow-up to us (turns out it was our old address that we hadn't lived at for over 9 months!) He explained this and the lady was basically like, that's too bad, you can't argue it because it was from too long ago so you owe the $75 and a $25 late fee. After a little bit of smooth-talking that my hubby is so good at, she said she'd follow up with someone and call us back and then hung up on him. (No, she never called back.)

Cue me:

I'm talking snap-your-fingers-in-a-Z-formation mad.

As Greg puts it, "Oh, they messed with the wrong lady. Plus, you're a stay at home mom so you have all the time in the world to fight this."

My response:

Mmmm, not quite. (He was kidding.)

But over the past week, I've dealt with this during morning nap time. Connor's, not mine, unfortunately. Mostly because I get so fired up... and I just can't have sweet Connor around his crazy Momma when I'm dealing with things that really fire me up.

So my latest convo with Red Light Camera Phone Operator #3 was like this:

Me: But I never received the ticket to begin with. You've sent no proof via a photo and, um, this was nearly 3 years ago.

Lady: You're not the first person to have this situation. It doesn't matter if you knew about it or not, you still have to pay it.

Me: Our address had been updated with all state agencies and mail was forwarding, so it's not our fault that you were working off a database that wasn't updated. Can I at least have the late fee removed since this is the first I'm hearing of it?

Lady: No.

Me: Can I have a court date so I can present my case and argue it? (Can't you just see me entering the courtroom with Connor on my hip?! They clearly don't know they are messing with a former high school Mock Trial Lawyer. And I have the golden gavel to prove it.)
Lady: No, too much time has passed.

I got pretty mad, so I honestly don't remember all the details - I may or may not have threatened to call the local news station's consumer action line because "I think the public would be interested to know how the local government is trying to screw taxpayers and collect on something that allegedly happened almost 3 years ago. I say 'allegedly' because you show no proof!" Dramatic much? 

But eventually, I was able to talk to someone in the Plano PD and explain the situation. He was really super-nice and reminded me of a Grandpa. He got the late fee removed and even said something to the effect of "Shame on the State of Texas for not having their information updated." Yeah, take that, Texas!

So, long story short long: We got the late fee removed and we'll be paying our ticket.

Turns out I guess I ran the red light.

Woops.

Pregnancy Talk (Explained in .GIFs)

An alternative title to this blog post could be How to Make a Mommy-to-be Want to Attack You. I'll totally admit that I've been treated awesome throughout my pregnancy and there have only been a couple of comments that have annoyed me. But I hear things all the time from new Moms and Mommies-to-be about things people say and it appears as though some people lose all sense of what's polite/appropriate. If that's you, take note. If it isn't, here's a nice glimpse into pregnancy!

So far, I've thoroughly for the most part enjoyed my pregnancy. But that's not to say that there aren't still those moments of, ummm, WTF? Whether it be noticing something weird your body is doing or, more commonly, something someone says to you. So, I thought it'd be interesting to share some of my top WTF moments with an accompanying .GIF to explain my reaction.

Them: "Awww, you're having a baby? Let me explain to you in detail how horrifying my birth experience is... It'll help 'prepare' you."

 
Them: "You're going to be the cutest pregnant lady ever. I bet you only gain weight in your belly and face...

  



Parenting advice from people who DON'T ACTUALLY HAVE CHILDREN

The first time someone referred to me as "Big Momma"

 

After reading a series of BabyCenter emails, with titles like "The Truth Behind Labor" or "Nine Things No One Tells You About Breastfeeding" or "What a Post-Pregnancy Tummy Really Looks Like" ... (Um, I kid you not with these emails...)

Pretty much anytime anyone says "You look like you're about to pop!" (In particular, when that happens at 34 weeks...)

 My thoughts about half-way through our Prepared Childbirth Class:

I hope we've all learned a valuable lesson... If you can't say anything nice to a pregnant person, by all means LIE! ;-)

Scared Straight

Does anyone remember in high school, when they would set up those fake car scenes around campus to scare you out of drinking and driving? You know what I'm talking about... they would have actors covered in fake blood with smashed alcohol bottles near them. Terrifying but you couldn't look away, right?

Or those TV shows that took delinquent teens into prison for a week to see what life is like the behind the bars? I think they called it "Scared Straight."

Well, I found a similar "Scared Straight" for babies.

So, let me back up. It seems as though overnight, my Facebook feed has turned into freakin' BabyCenter. I'm not complaining; I love babies. I adore them. I tear up at the sight of Ultrasound photos. This could be dangerous for a young, happily married lady like myself.

But like I said I am now (temporarily) scared straight. And this show is to blame:

Sweet. Jesus.

This ad alone is enough for me to lock my husband in the guest bedroom.

Other shows and movies seem to glamorize labor and delivery. I think it has something to do with the dramatic, but so sweet storyline that happens (a la The Father of the Bride Part II) or the music that plays right when the babies born that makes you want to bawl your eyes out (Hello, A Baby Story).

Well it turns out that music does not happen in real life, people. I watched this show, One Born Every Minute, the other night and I'm pretty sure I was hiding under my pillow behind the couch, under a blanket, crouched in fetal position rocking back and forth by the end. Apparently it's a little rougher than that... Turns out your body does all kinds of crazy shiz and I'm just not ready to experience that quite yet.

Not yet anyways.

While the show terrifies me, it doesn't seem to be quite as alarming as this upcoming TLC show...

I think I'd rather watch a live water birth than sit through this show. Aw-kward.

Car Wars

So, we're car-hunting. Yes, Greg's old truck is going to be passing on soon and, let's face it, it's time for an upgrade. The poor old truck - it's suspension is so bad, when you're driving (or riding in it) even on the smoothest of roads, you're bouncing all over the place like you're in the Beverly Hillbillies truck.

So the debate began about what kind of vehicle he would drive. Greg wants to drive a car, (he's driven a truck basically since he turned 16 and he wants something with a trunk that is small). I think he should drive an SUV (so we would have one car and one SUV). At the top of our list to test drive was the GMC Acadia (my pick), the Ford Taurus - new body style (Greg's pick), the Jeep Grand Cherokee (new body style) and we cut it off there.

 

We decided to go test drive the Acadia and the Taurus just to get a feel for what they were like inside, how they drove, etc. 

 

 

And then shiz got weird. And I'll take about 90% of the blame. Sometimes, I feel the need the be friendly, chatty and inquisitive when in situations like this (driving around in a car with a stranger, for example), but for some reason it just came across as awkward.

 

Scene: We just got finished test-driving the Taurus. I could tell Greg was in lurve with it. We were taking a look at the bells and whistles and the sales guy suggested we check out the trunk. He opens it up and I blurt out,"Wow, that's huge!" (In my defense, it was surprisingly large.) "You could fit a lot of bodies in there!"  Um. What? What? Why did I say that? The sales guy not only didn't laugh, but awkwardly walked away. Greg looks at me and mouths "BODIES? Really?" Uh, yeah. So inappropriate.

 

Now I know the big question you all have and the answer is yes, ABSOLUTELY. I had to fight EVERY urge to jump in the back seat, poke my head in between the sales guy and Greg and say "How fast does this thing go? Does it have automatic transmission? Does it have four wheel drive?"

 

Yes, that Home Alone 1 reference just happened.

 

We're leaning two different ways; at this point, we're just going to think about it some more, possibly test drive a few different models and (knowing me) make a car/suv pros and cons list. But ultimately, I'm leaving it up to the hubby as this will be his car. More to come on the car-hunting adventures! I've promised the hubby I will leave awkward, innapropriate commentary at home this time.

 

Hope everyone had a great Labor Day Weekend!

Home Woes

I love owning a home. I love owning a home. I love owning a home. (Just keep telling myself that, right?) :-)

No, I actually adore our home, but she (yes, my house is female) is really testing our patience. So, we knew that we had an AC issue since about a month after we moved in. Well, we FINALLY got an expert out to the house to do a diagnostic. I met with him and whadyaknow, our AC unit is... (gulp) terminal. No, really. He kept equating our AC unit to someone why emphysema and using terms that you'd use for humans. So OF COURSE we need a brand new $10,000 top-o-the-line unit. (Side note: Really, Trane? Ten grand?)

So the sales guy was all...

And I'm all PPPPPPPSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHH. So I leveled with the guy and told him we would not be replacing a unit that still blows cold air; he came to his senses and we now have a plan to get more air into our "gasping" unit, which should equal a cooler house. (Yay!)

Then, ding dong. We had some uninvited guests in the form of winged, ant-like insects with bonus carpenter ants thrown in for good measure.

Here's my problem. When I see gross bugs (I mean, aren't they all?), I don't just see a harmless little insect, I see what I could only describe as the alien from Independence Day, waiting to shed its gooey outer layer and attack me.

Upon discovering these little critters (the flying ones), the hubby and I proceeded to run around with a fly swatter, flashlight and bug spray squealing in fear (me), cussing (him, ok both of us), whimpering (alright, that's me too) and delivering JUSTICE (that'd be him) for a good 30-40 minutes. It was like some kind of alien vs predator shiz happening. I know we'll look back on these days and laugh; I just haven't quite found the humor yet.

Then, I learned that apparently we need quarterly visits from the exterminator. Ummm, who knew?! (Note: Well, apparently everyone except us because after a quick poll in the office place, I learned that EVERYONE has these scheduled.) And I thought we were doing good to have quarterly lawn service? There should be a class you have to take before you can own a home.

But I must say (as I try to fine the silver lining in all of this), I'm VERY excited to be living in a cool, bug-free home very soon, although that bedroom furniture that we've been lusting after (hmm, awkward wording) is slipping farther and farther away.

But we're hanging tough!