Idiotic Monday or Why I Should Have My License Revoked

So, yesterday was a very odd day for me. It doesn’t have anything to do with the fact that it was Valentine’s Day. Or a Monday. I just think I left my brain at home.

Case in point: I was driving back from a client meeting (luckily, I didn’t say or do anything idiotic during THAT) and realized my car was still covered in sand because of all the snow/ice from the week before, so I decided to go get a car wash. Totally normal, right? I’ve even been to this exact car wash SO many times. But for some reason, when it was time to put the car in neutral, I’m pretty sure I put it in reverse. I suddenly started moving backward on the ramp that is supposed to push your car forward. Um, WTF? Pretty sure I’ve been driving for almost 10 years.

The fun didn’t stop there, though. So, I finally get the car in neutral and, quite honestly, I’m thoroughly enjoying my car wash. Cee Lo Green’s “Forget You” was on and I was rocking OUT, channeling my inner “Elton John/peacock costume/Muppet show with a little Gwyneth Paltrow.” You know what I’m talkin’ bout.

So, then the car wash was over and I pulled out onto the street to drive back to work. Guess what I forgot to do? Yes. I forgot to put the car from neutral into drive. So I pull onto the road and begin to accelerate when all I hear is my engine revving. All of the people waiting at the DART bus stop are looking at me like I’m crazy. I’m suddenly VERY embarrassed. So, I put my car in drive and take my bruised ego back to work.

So, then I’m making my usual hour-long (shoot me) commute home. I’ve easily ate about 3,000 calories worth of cookies and brownies (thanks to my sweet hubby for the warm cookie delivery to work!) and to be honest, I’m over the whole car wash incident. I’m talking to my sister (via my hands-free headphones, mind you!) and driving home. I stop off to fill up my tank and I’m still just chatting away. So, I swipe my Kroger card (you get 10 cents off per gallon!), swipe my debit card and jump in the car. After sitting there for several minutes, I check to see where it’s at and realize, um, I didn’t even put the gas nozzle in the tank. Seriously?

So, while I left my brain at home, I did get to enjoy a very quiet Valentine’s Day (hubby had to work late, so we celebrated earlier in the weekend) with a glass of wine, cheesecake and The Bachelor.

Happy Tuesday! Here’s hoping the week gets less weird.